The Art of Poetry
Fallen and Broken
A soldier fallen
His family forgotten
A story of a hero gone wrong
And all we do is gather and sing a sad song
War is not only broken
But it’s breaking the unspoken
Taking lives
But yet it drives
From the dying
We keep pushing these fights but for what?
Can’t we get friends AND resources through peace?
We fight all the time like animals
Tigers that are irrational
Fighting only for ourselves
Attacking but not for defense
Shattering and destroying innocent people
When we should treat them as equal
No one sees the wild fire that is spreading hate
And yet peace is all we await
All I’m saying is that we can also benefit from peace
We can decrease
The number of the dying lying and crying
Let me ask you this
Might you agree that we are amiss?
Or are we on our correct course?
A soldier fallen
His family forgotten
A story of a hero gone wrong
And all we do is gather and sing a sad song
War is not only broken
But it’s breaking the unspoken
Taking lives
But yet it drives
From the dying
We keep pushing these fights but for what?
Can’t we get friends AND resources through peace?
We fight all the time like animals
Tigers that are irrational
Fighting only for ourselves
Attacking but not for defense
Shattering and destroying innocent people
When we should treat them as equal
No one sees the wild fire that is spreading hate
And yet peace is all we await
All I’m saying is that we can also benefit from peace
We can decrease
The number of the dying lying and crying
Let me ask you this
Might you agree that we are amiss?
Or are we on our correct course?
Growing as a poet
During this project I have grown a lot as a poet. My poem started very very jumbled. My poem didn’t have an overall theme that it followed. My view was shifted towards war and lies, but as my poem grew it changed and narrowed to talking about the war. After going through and revising it with others help I narrowed down my poem and found a theme to stick to. Then and only then after working around my theme I could make the changes and refine it.
I think that a huge and important change I made was adding the stanza to the top of my poem. Without the stanza it starts like this.
“War is not only broken
But it’s breaking the unspoken
Taking lives!
And yet it drives
From the dying”
This seemed to just jump into the idea of my poem to quickly and not having a buildup, really dragging down my poem.
“A soldier fallen
His family forgotten
A story of a hero gone wrong
And all we do is gather and sing a sad song”
This part was important because it gave an intro to my poem and it added and emotional story to it that would draw people in. Adding this also helped me put a turn in my spoken word performance.
In the beginning my poem seemed to be missing something. It seemed very short and scattered everywhere. I added a few lines based around my theme of peace, which added also not only to the length of my poem but to the flavor of my poem.
“When we should treat them as equal
All I’m saying is that we can also benefit from peace”
Before there was no middle in the peace making it have a huge gap. Adding the two lines filled that gap.
“When we should treat them as equal
No one sees the wild fire that is spreading hate
And yet peace is all we await
All I’m saying is that we can also benefit from peace”
Adding these two lines added a metaphor improving my use of poetry tools and extending my feelings more so to the reader.
During this project I have grown a lot as a poet. My poem started very very jumbled. My poem didn’t have an overall theme that it followed. My view was shifted towards war and lies, but as my poem grew it changed and narrowed to talking about the war. After going through and revising it with others help I narrowed down my poem and found a theme to stick to. Then and only then after working around my theme I could make the changes and refine it.
I think that a huge and important change I made was adding the stanza to the top of my poem. Without the stanza it starts like this.
“War is not only broken
But it’s breaking the unspoken
Taking lives!
And yet it drives
From the dying”
This seemed to just jump into the idea of my poem to quickly and not having a buildup, really dragging down my poem.
“A soldier fallen
His family forgotten
A story of a hero gone wrong
And all we do is gather and sing a sad song”
This part was important because it gave an intro to my poem and it added and emotional story to it that would draw people in. Adding this also helped me put a turn in my spoken word performance.
In the beginning my poem seemed to be missing something. It seemed very short and scattered everywhere. I added a few lines based around my theme of peace, which added also not only to the length of my poem but to the flavor of my poem.
“When we should treat them as equal
All I’m saying is that we can also benefit from peace”
Before there was no middle in the peace making it have a huge gap. Adding the two lines filled that gap.
“When we should treat them as equal
No one sees the wild fire that is spreading hate
And yet peace is all we await
All I’m saying is that we can also benefit from peace”
Adding these two lines added a metaphor improving my use of poetry tools and extending my feelings more so to the reader.